


I Can Never Apologize Enough

by magnificent_catastrophe



Series: DMMd: Clear's Endings [3]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bad Ending, Clear's Bad End, Continuation, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-re:connect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnificent_catastrophe/pseuds/magnificent_catastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the tale of what happens after the Bad Ending in "re:connect". With Clear "broken" again, he deals with the guilt of having put his precious Aoba-san through so much pain. Can he really cope?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Never Apologize Enough

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Contains spoilers to "re:connect" and possible triggers. You have been warned.

I.... can never apologize enough. I can't take back what I've done to Aoba-san... my beloved Aoba-san. What have I done?  
Please forgive me, Aoba-san.... No... I know you can't. I... I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for things to go this far. I never meant to betray you, Aoba-san.  
  
_Today is finally the last day. With this Aoba-san will become the existence that I wished for.  
I carry Aoba-san, who can’t move on his own, gently into the medical room and set him on the stainless steel stand.  
Aoba-san remains quiet and doesn’t seem frightened at all. There's no strength in his body at all. It looks like he knows exactly what is going to happen to him from now on.  
I touch Aoba-san’s face softly over and over and close my eyes, kissing his lips.  
After this, no sound will come from his beautiful lips anymore. I want him to call my name one last time but… Aoba-san won’t speak. Therefore, I have no choice. Aoba-san will now become the Aoba-san I wished for. He will become a created existence hovering between life and death.  
The fact that he will become only makes me incredibly happy. Finally, the wish that I have always been wishing for is going to come true. I have to hold back my discontent a little bit more.  
...Even though I think that.  
"...Huh?"  
Something leaks from my eyes and slides down my cheek. When I touch my hand to it to look at it, clear liquid sparkles on my finger. This… is this a tear?  
"...Why?"  
Even though I’m a machine, even though I’m something created...? Of course I have the programming that makes tears fall when I’m sad.  
But now... I’m supposed to be happy that Aoba-san is becoming the thing I wanted him to be. Why is something like tears falling? Something must be breaking. I will have to research it later.  
While I’m standing there in bewilderment, Aoba-san, who looks like a doll, moves a little bit. He turns his head to me like he can see what I’m doing and those thin lips open…  
“Are you okay?”  
I feel like they say that.  
In order to have Aoba-san not worry I stroke his skin over and over and smile al little.  
"That’s strange… I wonder why I’m crying. Hey... Aoba-san...?"  
Aoba-san doesn't move anymore and I feel the sad programming take over and I have to step away from the table.  
Why do I feel sad all of a sudden? This can't wait. I'll have to research it now to make sure nothing is broken...  
  
I blacked out when I got to my research room.  
  
**Clear?**  
  
That voice. That voice... it's...  
  
**Clear...**  
  
Master?  
  
**Clear!**  
  
No. Aoba-san!  
  
I came to and immediately headed back to where Aoba-san was. I kept hoping it was a dream... A terrible dream... but I knew, just by being in that tower, it was no dream._  
  
I look down at Aoba-san's limbless body and cry more. The Clear I once was, the "broken" Clear, is back. I know that being "broken" is far better than being "operational". Aoba-san wouldn't have had to suffer the way he did.  
"Clear?" His voice is soft, but unfrightened. He seems a little panicked.  
"Aoba-san... I'm so sorry..." I mutter as I put my forehead to his and just cry. I have to take him and we have to get out of here. I don't want Aoba-san to have to endure anymore. But do I have the right to be the one to save him from this... when I'M the one that did this to him?  
"Clear..." He mutters and nuzzles my head with his and I feel a prick in my chest. I'm sure he would have pet my head, if he had arms and hands again.  
"Aoba-san... I can never ask for your forgiveness... I do not deserve it," I mutter as I pick Aoba-san up. Aoba-san saved me again. He woke me up last time and he woke me up this time. His voice is powerful and most beautiful. "I'm so sorry."  
I can't even replenish his sight. I'm terrible. "Aoba-san..." I cry as he nuzzles my chest. I walk out of the room and head for an area that had robotic limbs of all sizes.  
"Aoba-san... I'm sorry to cause you more pain," I mumble as he tilts his head, looking up at me as if he could see.  
"Clear?" That's all he's said... is my name. It hurts. I'm so sorry, Aoba-san. What have I done to you? In my selfish desire for you to never die, I tried to take away your humanity. I may not be human but you believed I was human enough.  
I size Aoba-san's stubs (it hurts me to call them that) and then his torso to find the right size and length of the robotic arms and legs. I grab the harnesses for each and take off my scarf.  
"Please forgive me, Aoba-san," my voice is broken as I say this, wavering as I place a bit of the scarf into Aoba-san's mouth to gag him.  
He screams into the scarf as I connected the harness into his stubs. I lightly pet his shoulder to coax him to calm down. Once he's calmed down, I then connect the limbs to the harness, which subsequently connect to each of his nerve endings. He screams into my scarf once more, tears soaking his blindfold. I pet his arm and get up, going off toward the robotic eyes. Would these work on a human? The limbs did. I think.  
"Clear? W... Where... did you... go?" His voice his hoarse and I bite back the tears.  
"I'm right here, Aoba-san. I'll get you out of here... I'm so sorry I did this to you..." I bite my lip and grab the container with the robotic eyes in a sanitary solution and shove them in one of my pockets. I don't know if it can restore his sight, but I'll have to try.  
I pick Aoba-san up again; he's heavier than before because of the added mechanics. I set him into a normal position as I peel off my coat and place him in it. I button him up as he experiments with his knew limbs. Mostly, he's just moving the fingers. It'll be new for him, but at least he'll have movement and a sense of touch again; besides, the limbs look human enough, though I probably should have found ones closer to Aoba-san's skin color.  
I drape my scarf around his neck, minding his hair and pick him up once again.  
"Clear...? What's... going on?" His voice is so hoarse and he looks starved. I need to get him somewhere safe and fast. But where would we go? We can't leave Midorijima because Toue owns it now. Midorijima is its own country, run by Toue.  
"Aoba-san... we have to get far away," I state and head back to his 'room'. I grab his coil and his old clothes and head toward a window overlooking Platinum Jail. "I'm sorry Aoba-san." I take a few steps back and run towards the window, breaking it open. I shield Aoba-san with my body and then land on a nearby rooftop. I hop from rooftop to rooftop until I reach the edge of Midorijima outside the gate perimeters. I see a camp off in the distance and head over to it.  
"Clear!" I hear a voice and look up to see Koujaku-san racing towards us. "AOBA!!!" He sounds even more worried.  
"Kou...jaku...?" I cry even harder as I hand off Aoba-san to Koujaku-san.  
"Clear, what happened?" I look up to see a worried and horrified Tae-san.  
"I... I did something bad.... I can't ever correct it..." I start off, but Aoba-san cuts me off by holding up his hand. He signals that he needs water and Noiz-san comes over with a canteen of water. Aoba-san sips it before swishing a mouthful around his mouth to hydrate himself.  
"Clear... was taken by Toue... who 'fixed' him... But... I don't know what... but somehow... Clear 'broke' again... he's back to his old self. When he was 'fixed', he removed my limbs and sight, but he's not the 'fixed' Clear anymore so don't berate him..." Aoba-san explains.  
"Aoba-san..." I grovel on my knees as I look at his pitiful form. I did this to him. Aoba-san is like that.... because of me. "Aoba-san. I'm so sorry... I can't apologize enough. I can never be forgiven."  
"Clear. That's up to me if I can forgive you. You don't get to decide that," Aoba-san states.  
"I'm sorry, Aoba-san..." I mutter as Tae-san pats my shoulder.  
"Toue tampered with you but you seem to have changed back so there's no use worrying about what's in the past, all we can do is get to a better tomorrow," Tae-san states and I nod, wiping my tears before looking around. I see Mink-san and Ren-san!  
"What's... going on here?" I ask as I look to Koujaku-san, who has Beni-san perched on his shoulder.  
"A refugee camp," Noiz-san answers and I look to him.  
"Some people were able to escape and we're all that's left," Koujaku-san explains. "Mizuki is alright. He escaped on the first boat."  
"When did people start escaping?" I ask, my sense of time lost since I 'broke' again.  
"About four months," Mink-san offers up information.  
"Four months...? I've been doing this to Aoba-san for four whole months...?" I look horrified. That is unforgiveable... unacceptable. "Aoba-san... I'm so sorry..."  
"Clear, please stop crying..." Aoba-san states and I look over to see he's suddenly crouch next to me, getting used to his new robotic limbs.  
"Aoba-san... how did you-" I am cut off by Aoba's human-looking hand placing itself on my body and creeping up until it found my cheek. He caresses it and smiles a small, sad smile.  
"I can tell. It's in your voice, Clear. You were crying before you came back to your old self to... you've been crying since... Clear, I'm just glad you're back." A little part of my 'heart' dies. I don't technically have one, but I feel like I have one... and it's breaking under all this guilt and remorse.  
"Aoba-san... stop being so nice... I did terrible things to you," I state and my tears catch in his fingers. He shakes his head.  
"It's fine, Clear. I just wanted you to be happy and if doing what you did made you happy as the 'fixed' Clear, I was more than willing to make you happy." My 'heart' twists and I shakily reach out to touch Aoba-san.  
"Hate to ruin your moment, but the monthly escape boat is here to take us back to the Mainland," Noiz-san states.  
"Oh yeah... why does it come only once a month?" Aoba-san asks as he stands up, wobbles, and then manages to stand straight. I hold him by his shoulders to help keep him stabilized.  
"Because it would be too risky to do it too often. So they came once a month around a different time every month at a different hour so those of us who wanted to escape had to stay in this refugee camp until it came back," Koujaku-san explained.  
"The sick and injured were the first to leave because they required medical attention immediately, then the elderly and kids went, and then the teens and adults were boarded last month. There wasn't room for all of us, so we elected to stay behind," Tae-san continued.  
"Granny, why'd you stay behind?" Aoba-san asks.  
"Because there wasn't enough room on the second or third boat," Tae-san simply states with a huff.  
"What about Haga-san!? And Mio, Kio, and Nao?!" Aoba-san asks in a panicked voice.  
"All safe. The escaped with Bonjin-kun," Koujaku-san answers.  
"And for that matter, Yoshie-san and Clara are safe as well," Ren-san adds on.  
"Well, we better get on that boat, it's our only way back to Japan since Midorijima is now a country run and owned by Toue," Koujaku-san states and we all head for the boat.  
  
**Eight Months Later**  
  
It's been a whole year since I first met Aoba-san and we entered Platinum Jail together and failed to take it down. We fail, that is an undeniable truth. But more importantly... I failed to protect Aoba-san. I failed to keep him safe. I failed him as a lover.  
I hurt him. I made him experience pain. That is a guilt I will carry with me forever.  
We currently all live in a small suburb just outside of Akihabara. We share a 3-bedroom apartment (except Mink-san and Tori-san, they left a while back). Aoba-san, Ren-san, and I live in one bedroom, Tae-san lives in her own bedroom. Koujaku-san and Noiz-san were forced to sleep in their own rooms as well. Though, over the many months, they have reconciled their differences and are a lot closer now.  
Koujaku-san, Tae-san, Ren-san, and I all persuaded Aoba-san to let Koujaku-san cut his hair. It took two hours because Koujaku-san didn't want to hurt Aoba-san; I was thankful for that (Aoba-san's been hurt enough).  
Now Aoba-san has short hair and I'm closing in on a way to restore his sight.  
  
"Clear," I look up from what I'm doing as Aoba-san falls into my lap, his head on my shoulder. He's gotten better at walking around without help, though when going outside, Ren-san directs him as a seeing-eye dog.  
He's also getting used to where I am, though I'm sure Ren-san directed him to where I currently was. I was either out on the Veranda singing my Jellyfish song or at the table in our room, trying to find away to give Aoba-san his sight back. He's gotten really use to his limbs, too.  
"Ah, yes, Aoba-san?" I ask, slightly timid. We have a relationship. Aoba-san and I are lovers (and everyone knows about it), but our relationship is often strained because of me. Because of what I did to Aoba-san. He often wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming... and when I try to soothe him, it doesn't work because he thinks I'm... the 'fixed' Clear.  
Noiz-san has aided in my desperate plea to relieve the guilt for a little while and I cannot 'sleep' like a normal human. My programming sets so that I'm in sleep mode for 8 hours before waking up; the programming also sets it so I decided when to enter sleep mode. I cannot dream but while in sleep mode, I do recall memories. It's horrible.  
I try not to enter sleep mode but since I now can, I get exhausted now if I go more than three days without entering sleep mode. The most I can stay awake without entering sleep mode, now, is a week before the programming kicks in and automatically places me in sleep mode. It's like being human.  
"You've been distracted lately. I'm getting lonely," Aoba-san mutters as I adjust him so he's sitting fully in my lap.  
"I'm sorry, Aoba-san... I've been working on something lately. I've been studying real hard," I look down, resting my head against his shoulder.  
"About what?" Aoba-san pets my head gently. His hair is short and I can no longer nuzzle it. That makes me a little sad. I don't like Aoba-san's hair short.... but it's up to him. I no longer have the right to complain. Koujaku-san has to fix Aoba-san's hair every morning because Aoba-san cannot see his hair. He also cannot work because he has no sight.  
"Optometry and neurology," I state and he pulls away, looking down as if to give me a look of 'why'.  
"What for?" He asks.  
"I'm working on a way to give back the sight I took from you," I tell him solemnly.  
"Oh Clear... I wish you would stop beating yourself up about that," Aoba-san says, voice sad.  
"I can't, Aoba-san. I took your limbs. I took your sight. I almost took your voice. You got really thin and dehydrated. You almost died because of me, Aoba-san.... I can't forgive myself," I cry out, tears falling from my face.  
"Clear. I don't blame you. I never did. There's nothing to forgive because you didn't do anything wrong in my eyes," Aoba-san smiles at me.  
"What eyes?! I took them, Aoba-san!" I am distraught. His statement should not have been as metaphorical as it was.  
"Wrong phrasing. Sorry, Clear," Aoba-san nervously laughs it off.  
"How can you laugh? And why are you apologizing, Aoba-san?" I look at him desperately trying to comprehend how he's not mad at me.  
"Because I love you, Clear. I always have and always will. You made me yours and I made you mine, isn't that enough?" His head shifts so that his eyes would be looking at me... if he had any.  
This is horrible. I did this Aoba-san. It's all my fault.  
"I will Scrap if I have to," Aoba-san warns and I shake my head violently.  
"I don't want you to over exert yourself!" I yelp and hug to Aoba-san. "Please... you've been through enough..."  
"Clear..."  
  
**Five Years Later**  
  
I work hard at the table in mine and Aoba-san's room. Noiz-san and Koujaku-san moved out and moved into their own apartment together. Who knew they'd end up together? Aoba-san and I still live with Ren-san and Tae-san in that three-bedroom apartment. The third room was converted into a guest bedroom for the occasional night that Koujaku-san or Mizuki-san spent the night.  
Oh, right! We found and met up with Mizuki-san, Haga-san, and the trio of kids a while back. It was a nice reunion. Aoba-san cried, though no one could tell with the blindfold on his eyes. He said that for once he was thankful for the blindfold.  
It only killed my heart that much more.  
I did all of this to Aoba-san almost six years ago. I still harbor the guilt and remorse. It's because of that guilt and because of that remorse that our relationship almost died on several occasions. Aoba-san gets mad at me very often because of it...  
But... I can't let go of it.  
I will never let go. If it tears Aoba-san from me, then so be it. Maybe it would be for the better, considering I did this to him. I'm to blame for Aoba-san's blindness. I am the reason Aoba-san suffered so much emotional and physical pain.  
I'm so sorry Aoba-san. I can never say 'sorry' enough for this to all be okay... at least... not by me.  
  
"Clear," Aoba-san happily calls my name as Ren-san directs him to my position. He slowly crouches down and hugs me from behind.  
"Yes, Aoba-san?" I ask the now-28 year-old Aoba-san. He chuckles and kisses my cheek. He knows my anatomy by heart now. He doesn't need to see to know where my cheek is.  
"Happy birthday," He calls out and I blink.  
"Birthday?" I don't technically have one. Then I remember.  
Five years ago, Aoba-san declared this day as my birthday because it was the day we met. The day I woke up and found him. I forget every year because I'm not used to it quite yet. Give me five more years.  
"Oh, right. Thank you, Aoba-san," I smile at his kind-hearted nature and he nuzzles my shoulder.  
"What are you up to?" My lover asks and I smile even wider. It took five years, but I was finally able to figure out how to give Aoba-san his sight back.  
"I have a present for you," I smile as I look at Aoba-san. He has long hair again, per my request a couple years ago (he regularly got it cut until then).  
"But it's YOUR birthday," Aoba-san pouts and crosses his arms.  
"This is present for me as well," I stated, eyes reflecting my sadness.  
"Oh?" Aoba-san tilts his head.  
"You'll... have to endure a little bit of pain, but it'll be worth it," I smile at Aoba-san. He stiffens but nods his head.  
I take him up by the hand and lead him with the robotic eyes in hand. I had tailored them to match Aoba-san's previous eye color and even managed to do a light up function if Scrap is detected at being in use. They glow bright yellow if he uses Scrap.  
  
After surgery, Tae-san and I stand by with the local optometrist. Noiz-san and Koujaku-san were also there for encouragement (Noiz-san mainly so because he helped me with the eyes). I didn't tell Aoba-san what was going on, he just blindly trusted me and went under the anesthetics.  
It hurts that he trusts me so much.  
We wait near Aoba-san's sleeping form, all of us anxious for the results.  
Suddenly, Aoba-san's eyes open and he gasps, shielding his eyes from the light.  
"Why... is everything bright...?" Is his first question.  
"Let it adjust," Tae-san answers back and soon, Aoba-san is looking around the room. His eyes stop as they land on me.  
"Clear...?" His voice shakes as he stands up, everyone moves around to give Aoba-san and I some space.  
"Yes, Aoba-san?" I smile, happy to see that he's looking at me.  
"I... can see you again... I can see everything again..." Aoba-san slowly states before he starts to cry. He walks over to me and hugs me. "Thank you. Clear, thank you."  
"It wasn't just me. Tae-san and Oko-san helped with the Optometry and Neurology and Noiz-san helped with the eyes," I wave it off.  
"That may be so... but you wanted me to have sight bad enough that you went through all this trouble...." Aoba-san looks at me and though his eyes are now robotic, I can clearly see the happiness pushing through.  
"I'm the one who took your sight... so I thought I could be the one that could restore... but... I couldn't do anything by myself," my voice wavers and Aoba-san closes his eyes, lightly tapping my head. "Aoba-san...?"  
"Silly. I don't care about what you did; it's what you're doing... This... you crying over me and you going through such lengths.... You feel guilty and remorseful that's touching though a bit much at times. I forgive Clear. Now, if only you could forgive yourself," Aoba-san pets my hair and gently kisses my cheek.  
"Aoba-san..." I whimpered.  
"You've been through so much, Clear. Now it's my turn to ease YOUR pain," Aoba-san mutters and I cry. I can't help it. I cry. Aoba-san is just too good to me. He pats my back and soon the room is emptied out.  
  
I lay Aoba-san on our bed, kissing at him madly as I made sure the door locked behind us. Ever since I 'broke' again, I haven't touched Aoba-san in this way. I couldn't. The last time I did it was basically rape.  
I didn't think I deserved to touch him this way, but after what just happened downstairs...  
  
_"Uhm... Clear... can we... celebrate?" Aoba-san asks, a blush on his face._  
"My birthday?" I ask with a tilt of his head.  
He looks to the side, "That... and well... my returned sight...."  
"Okay.... how?" I smile at Aoba-san who blushes darker.  
"I was thinking... we could... make love," Aoba-san mutters and my own face heats up at that.  
"A-Aoba-san!"  
  
"Clear!" Aoba-san gasps out as I start to nip his neck. I remove his shirt and kiss his chest. It started out fast and heated, but now I want to take it slow. I want to make love to Aoba-san, not just have sex with him.  
He grabs a fistful of my hair as I tease his nipples with my tongue. He makes little noises as I silently removed his lower half clothing and begin to slowly stroke him.  
He lets out a pleasant sigh as his head lolls back and I look up at him, eyes fixated on his beautiful face.  
He opens his eyes and looks at me before blushing a deep color. "C-Clear?! Stop looking!"  
"Sorry, Aoba-san. You just look so beautiful," I smile and continue to tease his nipples as my hand glides to the tip of his penis, teasing him there as well.  
"C-Clear! S-Stop teasing!" His whole body shivers and trembles at my touches. We haven't done anything in five years. We're both a little excited.  
I move my lips down to the base of his now-standing erection and kiss it before taking the tip in my mouth.  
"Eh?! Clear?!" Aoba-san gasps out in surprise. I ignore his surprised gasp and continue to pleasure him. I use my tongue to lick him as I start to bob my head, a hand stroking what wasn't in my mouth. I flick my tongue across the tip and Aoba-san gives me a strangled moan.  
He's so cute when he tries to repress his voice.  
I use my free hand and press a finger into his perineum. He gasps and jolts, accidentally bucking his hips.  
I just take that much more of him into my mouth. The fist in my hair pulls it and then presses my head further down his shaft. Soon, all of Aoba-san is in my mouth. I use the hand that had been stroking him and press a finger into his entrance. He groans in discomfort but I remedy that with another prod to his perineum. He gasps and uses his other hand to grasp desperately at the sheets. I quickly add a second finger and stretch him. I need to be inside him to be connected and one with him.  
Once he's thoroughly stretched, I remove my mouth and look at Aoba-san.  
"I'm sorry, Aoba-san. I need to be inside you," I mutter and he looks away.  
"Don't say things like that out loud, Clear," he's blushing madly. I smile and kiss one of his eyes, which automatically closes when I come near it. I spread his legs apart and he looks at me with an embarrassed expression.  
I stop and just admire how beautiful Aoba-san looks right now.  
"C-Clear... why'd you stop?" He asks. I just smile.  
"Admiring how beautiful Aoba-san looks right now." His face goes beet red.  
"Oi! Now's not the time for that!" Aoba-san gripes and I chuckle before pressing into him. He groans and makes fists into the bed sheets.  
I press in all the way and wait for Aoba-san to adjust. I grab his erection and begin stroking it as my other hand starts stimulating his nipples once more.  
He lets out a content and pleasured sigh and I take that as a sign to start moving. He grunts in return but soon those grunts turn into beautiful moans. He's moaning really loud.  
"C-Clear..." Aoba-san moans out my name and I just move that much faster before slowing down and focusing on rhythmically pleasuring him. I pour my love for Aoba-san into every thrust, into ever caress, into every stroke. I pour it into his very being through mine.  
Aoba-san looks at me through hazy eyes and he's making a face that I can't resist and I immediately claim his lips. I dart my tongue into his open mouth and caress his with my own. He moans into our kiss and soon I have to pull apart. He pants out and looks at me as I hit his prostate. His eyes shut and he moans loudly.  
"Clear..."  
"Yes, Aoba-san?" I ask, looking at him as his eyes open again. He moans and clings to me.  
"Can we... move faster...?" He mutters as he pulls himself up so he's sitting in my lap, the gravity causing my own erection to penetrate him even deeper. He moans in response. I nod and move my hips faster.  
I grab a hold of Aoba-san's as he moves himself with my thrusts to get the most out of it. He closes his eyes and begins to moan loudly and frequently. His chest goes in and out as he pants heavily and I know he's nearing his climax.  
I thrust even harder into him and he moans loudly before spilling his loud onto my still-clothed chest. I thrust into him a few more times before my own fluids spill out inside of Aoba-san. He clings to me then pushes back.  
"Oh my god, Clear! I'm so sorry! I just ruined your shirt!" He frowns and I smile, pulling out of Aoba-san and just simply hugging him. I removed the rest of my clothes and lie next Aoba-san naked. I pull the covers over our bodies and just nuzzled his chest. I put my ears to it and listen to his heartbeat as I hum my Jellyfish song.  
Aoba-san calms down instantly and he holds me to him.  
"Clear... I love you..." He kisses the top of my head.  
"I love you, too, Aoba-san," I look up at him. "Do I.... have the right to marry you?"  
His eyes go wide and he looks down at me before smiling, tears prickling his eyes. "Of course, Clear. Of course you do."  
"Then... will Aoba-san marry me?" I ask, hopeful.  
"Yes, Clear. I will marry you," He smiles and we adjust our position as we hold each other in our arms, foreheads touching one another. I move my right hand to take a hold of Aoba-san's left hand and interlock our fingers. I sing the Jellyfish song and soon Aoba-san is asleep.  
I close my eyes and enter sleep mode.... and for the first time in forever... I had my very first dream. I dreamt about Aoba-san and I getting married.  
  
I can never apologize enough for what I did to Aoba-san, but that doesn't matter now. Aoba-san has accepted what happened and is now my supporting rock in life. He is helping me with the guilt and remorse and each day, the burden of them lessens a little more. The weight of it all is lifting all because of Aoba-san's warm love. I may be a machine, but I am not cold. I have Aoba-san's warmth to thank for that.  
I can never forgive myself for the past, but I can stop hating myself. I can love myself for Aoba-san's sake. Everything I do is for Aoba-san. He is my fiancé, my love... Aoba-san is my life now... and I can't say "thank you" enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So obviously this is post-"re:connect" and this is my spin on what happens after the bad ending to "re:connect" for Clear's route. I think he ends up "breaking" again and then he's just ridden with guilt for what he did to Aoba. He can't function with all the guilt and they have hardships in their relationship because of Clear's guilt. But he works hard to correct what he's done to Aoba, giving him back limbs and then eventually his sight. He was just glad he hadn't taken Aoba's voice yet.  
> So this is their trial...  
> Apology count: 15  
> Clear says "sorry" to Aoba 13 times and asks for forgiveness twice....  
> Also a note on "Oko-san". Oko-san is the optometrist.... why did I choose that name.... CAUSE GOTTA GO FAST!!! /shot  
> I've been playing Hatoful Boyfriend and omfg Okosan.... he's just... THIS IS A FUCKIN' GAME ABOUT BIRDS!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?! You can date fuckin' birds!! I'm done with it... omg... but people keep telling me the BBL route makes it all worth the nonsense. My first route was Okosan's.... HAIL LORD PUDI!!!  
> Quite done now. /dead  
> Also, there's sex because I haven't written smut in forever and I felt like writing some fucking smut okay?!


End file.
